If you missed last week’s post, please read that before you check out this post! This series is very important and I don’t want you to miss out on a single (ha get it? cause it's about being single ha) thing!
So many of us have had horrible relationships, sometimes they’re ungodly and sometimes we think they’re godly, but they’re just hard and painful. If you’re relationship is not good, it is not God’s final destination for you.
wants vs needs
Sure, God will put in you in relationships, relationships you think are everything you’ve ever needed, but they’re only everything you’ve ever wanted. Our wants and our needs are so different. Our wants are not usually what God knows we need. Maybe you want someone who you’ve gone to church with, or someone of the same denomination, or someone who worships in the same way as you; but God knows that’s not what you need. God will show you that relationship you want and then he will help you realize, that it is not what you need. And yes, it will hurt, but in the end you will be closer to God’s plan for you and you will have learned so much! But what God knows you need, is going to be better than anything you have ever wanted! When God gives you what you need, it’s going to be an adventure. It probably won’t be comfortable at first, but you will grow. A relationship isn’t meant to be easy all the time (that would sure be cool if it was). How are you supposed to grow in your faith if you’re never challenged?
how to know if it’s good
There really isn’t one way to distinguish if a relationship is good, because there are so many factors to consider. I can tell you, however, that a relationship is not good when:
- they constantly put you down
- you’re the only one putting in effort
- they’re lustful
- they constantly question your denomination and make fun of your worship practices
- they talk to you like they’re superior (remember, we’re all equal in the eyes of God)
- they aren’t holding you accountable
- they aren’t your advocate
- they aren’t praying with you or for you
- they want you to put them first (God is always first in your heart, remember last week’s post?)
- they aren’t fully drenched in God’s love (again, last week!)
- they aren’t actively seeking God
These are just a few, but I’m sure you have your own personal standards. If someone doesn’t meet God’s standards or your standards, they’re probably (I’m like 1000% sure that if they don’t meet God’s standards) not the one for you.
if it’s not good, it’s not God
Now, I’m NOT saying that if your relationship has some bumps in the road, then you should break up and move on. I think every relationship has potential, if it is God’s work. If your relationship is not good at all, and the other person is not a godly person, then it is not God’s work. If you need a reminder, a daily motivation, or just something to repeat to yourself while in a relationship; it’s “if it’s not good, it’s not God.” Below I have made a little phone wallpaper for anyone who wants it. You could also write this quote down, tweet it, post it on Facebook, and share it with everyone. Share this truth with those around you, I’m sure they need it as much as you needed it, as much as I needed it.
“Lord, do good to those who are good, to those who are upright in heart.” / / Psalm 125:4