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things i have learned & fallen in love with & i'm done with my first year of college

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

As I stated in the title, I am done with my first year of college (it will be exactly 3 weeks since, on Thursday) and I am beyond happy to be home. I miss the friends I have made and staying up until 3 a.m. with my roomie. I do not miss campus food or dorm life. Aside from all I miss and don't miss, this post actually has a real purpose. I have learned a lot and fallen in love with a lot this past year, so yes, that is what I am going to talk about. Let's start with what I've learned and go from there.

what I've learned:

1. nothing is better than a home cooked meal
I truly cherish all the times that my friends and I would gather in our tiny dorm kitchen and make meals. Whether it was something extravagant like a big pasta dinner or something smaller like breakfast sandwiches, it was always better than campus dining. If you eat at least one home cooked meal a month, you'll be happier and healthier (proven fact)!!

2. mental health should be put above everything else
As many of you know I had a battle with seasonal depression and anxiety this school year. I noticed that I was putting way too much on my plate and not giving myself enough alone time. I really didn't know how to take care of myself, because I always want to take care of everyone else. I became a Maven ambassador in the summer and hadn't used it for much, other than a few nutrition questions and cold remedies. I found myself needing someone to talk to, someone who wasn't just a friend. I began talking to a mental health provider on Maven (Elyssa Kilman, to be exact! She's fantastic, if you need to talk to someone) and saw a lot of improvement. I also began to make time for myself (as an introvert I need alone time to refuel) and began to gain a lot from it. If you aren't putting your mental health above your education, work, relationships, etc. then chances are they aren't going to be what you'd like them to be.

3. grocery stores are a rad hang out place
I'm pretty sure my friends and I would just go to Meijer for fun, hiding in the toilet paper and such. Or sometimes I'd drag them to Trader Joe's with me. In the end, grocery shopping is always fun and who doesn't love food? 

4. caffeine is a blessing sent directly from heaven
I have a serious caffeine addiction, like I get headaches if I don't drink a cup of coffee as soon as I wake up. But also, caffeine helps you stay up until 3 am to study for your exams, what a cool thing caffeine is! 

things I've fallen in love with:

1. God
I mean I was already in love with God, but I think I've fallen more in love with Him. College helped me realize so many things about myself and about my faith, it helped me grow so much stronger to God and made me lean on Him so much more. College is cool because you make your own decisions, such as whether or not you go to church or join a ministry group on campus (like Cru!!). 
College = growing in faith

2. painting
I am a writer, I write to relieve my stress. But writing was making me stressed this school year, so I couldn't use it as a release, so I began to paint. I painted a bunch of Bible verses with watercolor for fun and for stress relief. 

3. netflix and spotify
hahaha, I watched so much netflix this past school year. 
here is a little list of some of the shows I watched this year:
stranger things
jane the virgin
call the midwife
how to get away with murder
parks and rec (again, again, again)
svu
13 reasons why
supergirl

I watched more than just those, but I think you get the idea! And spotify premium is half off for students, which is a wonderful thing. 

4. new friends
I made a lot of new friends this year, a lot that will be life long friends. I am so blessed to have met these amazing people and to have gotten to know them. 


That being said, I hope you learned some things this past school year and that you also took time to fall in love with the little things. My prayer for you is that you continue to learn from God and all that he has to offer to you and that you do everything out of love.

Thank you for taking a break from the Cure To Singleness series (which will be back next week) with me! thanks for reading :) 

xoxo, Aubs

un(lovable)

Thursday, May 4, 2017



I began writing this post about how I’ve heard so many people call themselves unlovable, but then I realized that I probably couldn’t get my point across that way; I knew that people wouldn’t relate to my post that well, unless I talked about my own life.


Contrary to popular belief, I am not perfect. I have never been perfect and I never will be. I have called myself unlovable, I have thought about how no one could ever love me and how annoying it would be to be married to me. I mean I complain a lot, I pick the raisins out of my trail mix and the peas out of my fried rice, I’m sometimes a crazy driver, I’m an occasional backseat driver, and I have my own set of regrets and brokenness. But I know that I am still lovable, because of Jesus. We (that includes me) think of all the things we’ve done that we aren’t proud of and we can’t imagine anyone loving us if they knew of these things. I know we all tear ourselves down and come up with a reason for our singleness, we think it’s because of all the bad we’ve done; we think that we are unlovable. If one person in this world is unlovable, then we’re all unlovable. None of us live a life free of sin, I mean we can try, but we aren’t perfect. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of and we’ve all strayed from the path.


The more we say that we are unlovable, the more we begin to believe it; we are so far from the truth. Tell me, why do we continue to call ourselves unlovable, when Christ died for us, out of love? If you are so unlovable, why did Christ die so that you could be with Him in eternity? If I am so unlovable, why did Christ love me even before I loved Him?


you’re lovable to God
Now if we are to believe that Jesus is God, we are to believe that God came down in the most vulnerable form, out of love. He felt the same hurts and temptations of this world, out of love. He didn’t want heaven without us because of His love for us. He was nailed to a cross, out of love. He rose again three days later, out of love. He proclaimed that he would be back to take us all home because of His love for us.


Jesus loves you so much so that He died, for you. He washed away all sins, for you. He felt immense physical pain so that you could one day be with Him in heaven. He shows you grace every single day. He cheers you on, even when you won’t even let Him sit on the sidelines. You’re so lovable to Him, that it shouldn’t matter if people love you or not, but He will send people to love you anyways.


you’re lovable to someone
We’re not meant to do life alone and we know that, but sometimes we isolate ourselves because of our sin. We repent and we know we are forgiven, but our past sins still haunt us. We have let Jesus heal us, but we still live in the past. We know that Jesus loves us, but we don’t think anyone on earth ever could, “How could someone love me after I (fill in the blank)?” We’ve all said it or thought it. The truth is, God made someone to love you. That someone could be a spouse, but they could also be a friend. God didn’t promise that we’d all get married, but He did promise that we wouldn’t be alone. You’ll find that person who will love you for all of you. Even though you’ve sinned, you will still be loved. Even though you've sinned, you are still lovable.


you’re lovable
The bottom line is, that you are lovable and you are so loved. No matter what, God always has and always will love you. And because God loves you, He will send someone to show you love on earth. Just be preparing and praying for that person, whomever they might be! Your past does not define you, your future does not define you, you only find your worth in God! Stop living in your past sin and start living in love! YOU are so lovable, to God, to me and to someone else in your life.

I pray that you will know that you are loved by the Father and that you are lovable. I pray that you find that person that finds every single part of you lovable. I pray that you'd find healing, that you'd find joy in God's love. I pray that whatever you need from God, that He will provide you with it. I pray for you, friends.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. / / John 3:16

Prayers for Your Future Spouse

Thursday, April 20, 2017

If you need to recap you can do that here. (I've pretty much made this mini series a full blown series that is probably going to be the focus of my blog for a while.)


Praying is such an important part of our faith, it is a time for us to converse with our Almighty Father and talk to Him about everything and anything. He already knows what is on our hearts, but He wants us to come to Him and build a relationship. He so desperately wants us to pray for others, as well. If you haven’t noticed yet, this post is all about praying. It is specifically, about praying for your future spouse, because they need your love even before you know them. So get praying my friends!


Recently my friend, Maria, told me about a girl who was challenged to buy a tie to remind her to pray for her future husband every night. The story is a good one and reminds us all to continue to pray for our future spouses. God works in mysterious ways and this story highlights that. You can read more about this story here.


So Maria, Olivia and I were intrigued by this idea, so much so, that we decided to do it ourselves. We prayed that God would lead us to the exact tie that our husbands would receive from us on our wedding days, whether it be something funky or something more classic. We had such a fun time picking out a tie for our future men and praying for them. We went to several different department stores in the mall and looked at the ties, then we sat down at a couch in the middle of the mall and prayed. We prayed that God would lead us to the tie that would one day go to our future husbands. This was such an amazing experience, I was actually getting choked up thinking about it. Now we are writing letters to go along with our ties, which I will talk about a little bit later on in this series!





I don’t want to post pictures of our ties on here because I feel as if these ties are a very personal object, that we will one day share with our husbands and until then, they will remain private. Women, I encourage you to go out and buy a tie for your future husband. Men, I encourage you to go out and buy a bracelet for your future wife. I encourage you all to pray for your future spouse and pray for your own heart, that God will prepare you to one day be a husband or a wife. I hope that one day you and your spouse will be able to exchange “prayer-soaked” sentiments.

Below I have added a few prayers for your future spouse that I found on Pinterest. Don't be surprised by the power of prayer. You might pray for something great, but end up with something magnificent! Happy Praying!























"Therefore I tell you, everything you pray and ask for-believe that you have received it and it will be yours." / / Mark 11:24 CSB

A Real Christian Love Story

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Recap Time!
Week one: We talked about finding God before you find that person that you will spend the rest of your life with.
Week two: We talked about good relationships and how all things good come from God.
Week three: We talked about God being the only one who can fix brokenness.
To catch up more into depth click here.


This week, I wanted to do something totally different and present you with a real love story; this is the story about how my wonderful parents met. I decided to interview my mom about their marriage because they are really my biggest example on what a romantic relationship for Christ followers should look like. I hope you enjoy learning about a true love story, just as much as I did. Now, I present to you: Bob and Rochelle!



Aubrey: Let’s start with something fun! How did you two meet?
Mom: We met at our mutual friend’s bonfire but never talked or saw each other after that until a year later when we met each other again at another mutual friends’ wedding.


Aubrey: How did you know that you two were meant for each other?
Mom: I was seeking something different then I had ever sought before; I was looking for someone who had things in common with me and I was looking for someone whose actions spoke louder than words. I prayed for someone like your dad and found him.


Aubrey: How has God shaped your relationship with each other?
Mom: With both of us having faith and the same beliefs it's just an unspoken understanding that what we believe is right and just, in the way that you should live your life and raise your family.


Aubrey: After being married, how has your expectations of love changed?
Mom: With your dad, the love I've felt with him in our lives is way beyond romance; it's a mature love and it's for every circumstance. We've been through a lot of hard times and they haven't made us weaker.


Aubrey: What do you think are the guidelines for a successful romantic relationship for Christians?
Mom: For Christians, putting God and His word first.


Aubrey: To you is there a difference between love and romance?
Mom: Yes, love is never-ending. Love is there when there is no romance.


Aubrey: What are your love languages?
Mom: Acts of service


Aubrey: Hypothetically, If I were getting married and asked what you thought was the most important thing you've learned about how to have a successful relationship, what would you say?
Mom: Get over things, don't make love a competition or keep score.


Aubrey: Any advice for someone who is actively seeking God and also looking for a significant other?
Mom: Look for someone who is also seeking God and pray!


Aubrey: One more thing, what is the biggest focus of your relationship?
Mom: God and loving each other and our family.


So see, there you have it. A wonderful example on what a romantic relationship looks like for Christians. I hope this was fun to read! These two are my inspiration, I want a relationship like theirs! Continue seeking God and He will send someone your way!


“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” / / Proverbs 18:22

they're not yours to fix

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

If you need to catch up on this series, click this link.


I have been asking God for a lot of help with this series because as many of you know, I am not at all an expert (or even a beginner) in the romantic relationships department. So there I am, watching one of Steven Furtick’s sermons and he says something about how you are not Joanna Gaines and this is not Fixer Upper and I just felt like God wanted me to talk about that somehow. So here I am now, contemplating how exactly God wants me to relate relationships to an HGTV show. I pray that my hands becomes God’s hands and write this to you from God, through me. Here we go.


we’re all broken
Raise your hand if you’re a broken person. You’re lying if you didn’t raise your hand, because the truth is we are all broken and sinful. We are all giant screw ups and mental illness ridden messes. We have all fallen, had our hearts broken, grieved, been addicted, hated someone, etc. We are super duper broken and super duper unfixable, that is, if another person tries to fix us.


you’re broken
You’ve been hurt before, you’ve felt defeat, you’ve lost your way, you’re still hurting and probably will be for a while. You try to find a man or a woman who will fix you. You search high and low for that person, but the one who will fix you is right beside you; God wants to fix you. God wants you to be made new again, He hates to see you suffering. Don’t ask God for a person to come along and make you better, ask for Him to make you better.


they’re broken
Imagine this: You meet someone who you genuinely like as a person, but they have ghosts in their life. This person has serious issues, issues you have never had to deal with, but you are so infatuated with them. This person likes that you care for them, but they can’t care for you in return because they’re way too broken. You can’t fix them. You can’t take all the shards of their heart and glue them together, you sure can try, but it won't work. “But Aubrey, they have potential! I can help them!” Yes you can help them; by being there for them, by leading them towards Our Healer, by being a prayer partner. But you cannot be in love with them, not now anyways.


God uses the broken
So yes, we’re all super broken and we can try and fix the other broken people. We cannot date those who have potential, those who need fixing. And we cannot seek someone who will fix us, because they can’t. We were not made to fix other people’s brokenness or even our own. We were made to surrender our brokenness to God and to ask Him to fix it, to use our brokenness for His glory. God is a Healer, such a mighty Healer! God is the only one who can repair a shattered heart and a shattered soul. Don’t date someone who is broken, lead them to God, pray for them, and see where God places you. Stop searching for someone to fix you, when God is the only one who can!


“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” / / Psalm 34:18 MSG

excerpt from my journal no. 42

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Hello friends! This post is for any of you who didn't see my most recent poem on my poetry page or just really love to reread my poetry! So in 3 words or less it's, journal excerpt time!

untitled-04/06/17

they are my famiglia
they are italian, polish and maltese,
probably a lot of other things too
we're basically mutts
there are five of us, if you include the dog
they are the best

there's my mom; 
i call her "ma" or "woman" or "mom" or "mama" or "rochelle", if i want to irritate her
she's the best cook in the world
she always calls me her "bambina"
and sings me songs and writes me cute notes
she's my best friend and biggest fan (sorry dad)
i'm convinced she can read my mind, 
even when i'm 2 1/2 hours away, she can tell when something's wrong
she's the best mom in the world

and then, there's my dad;
i call him "dad" or "daddy" or "bob" because he doesn't seem to care
he's hilarious and actually tells good dad jokes
he loves talking about 
government conspiracies and
new health trends he's trying
he calls my mom just to say "i love you" and buys me flowers on valentine's day because "i want you to know what a man should do for you one day"
he's so great, i hope i marry a man like bob one day

and there's my brother;
i call him "bro" or "broski" or usually just, "bobby"
he loves me with all his heart
but cannot hug me
because his ocd clouds his mind
he's funny and loves the oldies
he also loves trips to chipotle with me
he won't tell me about girls 
because "you'll tell mom," but will talk to me about everything else
gosh i love him with all my heart too

and there's my dog;
who we all call "boo" and sometimes i call him some random nickname
he's so cute, but super vicious
one minute he'll be curled up in-between your legs and the next?
he's attacking you and biting you in the lip
he's scared of thunderstorms and fireworks and people, really he's scared of everything
he's not perfect, but he loves me and i love him

and then, there's me;
they call me "dee-dee" or "aubs" or plain old, "aubrey"
i'm the first born pain in the butt, 
who's dream is to marry a nice christian man, own a cafe, adopt children, have children, and just have a great family
currently, i'm in college, missing my great family
my current dream would be, sitting on the couch with my dog on my lap, my mom cooking in the kitchen, my dad hanging out in the garage building something cool, and my brother playing video games and complaining about me taking over the bathroom we share.

can you tell i miss them?
can you tell i love them?


So there you have it, a poem about my wonderful family! Have a great day and I will see you all again next week! 

If it’s not good, it’s not God

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

If you missed last week’s post, please read that before you check out this post! This series is very important and I don’t want you to miss out on a single (ha get it? cause it's about being single ha) thing!


So many of us have had horrible relationships, sometimes they’re ungodly and sometimes we think they’re godly, but they’re just hard and painful. If you’re relationship is not good, it is not God’s final destination for you.


wants vs needs
Sure, God will put in you in relationships, relationships you think are everything you’ve ever needed, but they’re only everything you’ve ever wanted. Our wants and our needs are so different. Our wants are not usually what God knows we need. Maybe you want someone who you’ve gone to church with, or someone of the same denomination, or someone who worships in the same way as you; but God knows that’s not what you need. God will show you that relationship you want and then he will help you realize, that it is not what you need. And yes, it will hurt, but in the end you will be closer to God’s plan for you and you will have learned so much! But what God knows you need, is going to be better than anything you have ever wanted! When God gives you what you need, it’s going to be an adventure. It probably won’t be comfortable at first, but you will grow. A relationship isn’t meant to be easy all the time (that would sure be cool if it was). How are you supposed to grow in your faith if you’re never challenged?


how to know if it’s good
There really isn’t one way to distinguish if a relationship is good, because there are so many factors to consider. I can tell you, however, that a relationship is not good when:
  • they constantly put you down
  • you’re the only one putting in effort
  • they’re lustful
  • they constantly question your denomination and make fun of your worship practices
  • they talk to you like they’re superior (remember, we’re all equal in the eyes of God)
  • they aren’t holding you accountable
  • they aren’t your advocate
  • they aren’t praying with you or for you
  • they want you to put them first (God is always first in your heart, remember last week’s post?)
  • they aren’t fully drenched in God’s love (again, last week!)
  • they aren’t actively seeking God
These are just a few, but I’m sure you have your own personal standards. If someone doesn’t meet God’s standards or your standards, they’re probably (I’m like 1000% sure that if they don’t meet God’s standards) not the one for you.


if it’s not good, it’s not God
Now, I’m NOT saying that if your relationship has some bumps in the road, then you should break up and move on. I think every relationship has potential, if it is God’s work. If your relationship is not good at all, and the other person is not a godly person, then it is not God’s work. If you need a reminder, a daily motivation, or just something to repeat to yourself while in a relationship; it’s “if it’s not good, it’s not God.” Below I have made a little phone wallpaper for anyone who wants it. You could also write this quote down, tweet it, post it on Facebook, and share it with everyone. Share this truth with those around you, I’m sure they need it as much as you needed it, as much as I needed it.






















“Lord, do good to those who are good, to those who are upright in heart.” / / Psalm 125:4