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waiting game

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Hi all, my name is Nicole Grover and Aubrey asked me to write from another perspective on relationships and waiting for the right person to come into your life. (To catch up on the series click here!)

These past couple of years, God put my level of patience to the test. I struggled watching my friends find great guys that soon turned into long-lasting relationships. I constantly wondered when it was my turn to meet “the guy". Seeing most of your friends happy and in a committed relationship makes tons of emotions run through your head. Half of you is glad your friend found someone that makes their days better and the other half of you is jealous; jealous of the fact that she/he found their person that makes dark and gloomy days turn bright and sunny. Thinking that I may end up alone was a thought that went through my head often. God showed me in many ways that I wasn’t alone now and that I wouldn’t be alone in my future. “In order to love someone else you must love yourself.” These words stuck with me since the day I heard them. I began to realize that this was God’s plan for me and I wasn’t supposed to rush His plan.

My freshman year of college was the year God truly tested my patience. I saw floor mates, building mates, or even just other freshman walking throughout campus making connections with others. I tried, but I knew that God’s plan was in the works and a connection wouldn’t be forced, rather it would be effortless. Half way through the year, I began to accept that God was in control of my life and the relationships I had made and relationships to come. Letting God take control of my life and letting His plan take over was a big step for me. God puts different people in your life to teach you different lessons. Over the last couple years, I watched some friends lose their relationships, some enter relationships, and some be in unhealthy relationships. Having experienced their heart aches, pains, and the happy feelings with them, I knew that this was God showing me what I should be treated like and what I shouldn’t be treated like. This made it even more clear to me that patience was the right choice.  
So, my friends, being single is nothing to be ashamed about, rather it’s something to be glad about. Knowing that God has a special plan for you makes waiting for your perfect person even better. Although those lonely thoughts still will run through your head, it is important to know that God loves you for you and only you. He has a plan for you and the day you meet your person will come soon enough. Keep praying to God for He will answer. Pray for your future spouse, or your person. Pray they are living a healthy life and will continue to live one. On the days you feel lonely, pray to God as He knows what your path is.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” // Ephesians 4:2

trusting God in the midst

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Hello everyone! My name is Olivia Van Wyk and I was asked by the lovely Aubrey Sochacki to write a blog post in order to give another perspective on relationships(which you can learn even more about here). This past year I have had the opportunity to gain many great relationships whether it was through Godly friendships or even a closer relationship with God himself. But along with so much gain there were also many seasons of loss and loneliness in this past year of my life. Long story short I was a girl in love with a man that I had been dating for almost 2 years. He was my best friend and definitely the person I saw myself marrying, having a family with, and just growing old together. Then one day, all these dreams and the reality of my relationship came to an abrupt and unforeseen end. I was devastated, confused, and just angry with the plan that God had for me. Although, after I gave it some time and allowed myself to go through the stages of grief I finally understood what God's plan was for me, and I also learned how to use this next stage of my life to live for Him and accept His plan.

Now with all that being said I definitely wasn't overwhelmed with the answers and an explanation of God’s plan for me, but I was rather overwhelmed with His comfort and presence in my life. But throughout this season of my life, it took time for me to open my eyes and my ears to the Lord and it took time for me to understand and trust God’s plan for me. Thankfully during all this time, God never failed to love me and be patient with me even when I began to question Him. I remember asking why God broke my heart and why He was making me so sad and alone? But then, I realized God does not cause this harm onto His beloved children, but He does allow them (us) to hurt for a reason. Sometimes people need to lose something really important to them in order to realize what is more important in life. This is why God allows our heart to break because He wants us to see how important a relationship with Him truly is. God wants to use this season of your life (and every season, at that) to work through you and to use you to better His kingdom.

Now I’m sure you're probably thinking the same thing that I was; I mean how could God use me when I feel so broken? But the truth is that everyone is broken in their own way and God loves to use these broken people because there is space within Him that can be transformed into something strong and beautiful through the Holy Spirit. For example, in ancient Japanese culture there is a tradition where a sculpture would make a beautiful piece of art and then eventually they would purposely break it. After the piece was broken the artist would use gold to repair the item and make it more beautiful and unique than it was before. In this situation God is the almighty sculpture and has made you perfect in His eyes, but eventually He will allow you to reach a point where you feel broken, and this is where you allow God to be the gold in your life. Allow God to fill in the broken pieces of your life and also repair and restore you! Allow God to make you beautiful and unique through your brokenness and remember that God has a plan for you.

So I keep talking about this plan that God has for you and sometimes you know exactly where he is leading you and other times you may be unsure. Regardless as to what outlook you have towards God’s plan you must remember that God is in control and you are not. As a human this is a hard aspect to accept and follow because we so badly want things to go our way and we want to be in control. For me, I so badly wanted my boyfriend to be a part of my life and a part of my plan, but in reality God has a better plan for me and it will be better than I could ever imagine! With that being said, I will fully trust in the Lord’s plan and I will give Him every part of my life and I hope that you can do the same in any situation of your life; whether it be a heart full of love or a broken heart of some sort. Like I said, as humans, we don't have control over experiences in life and the plan that God has for us, but there is one way we can take action into our own hands and prepare our heart, mind, and soul for the presence and work of God. By creating a relationship with God and using the power of prayer we are able to prepare ourselves for whatever life and God throws our way. So pray that God will work through your brokenness and use you for His purpose. Pray that you will be more Christ like, so that you can see yourself, the ones you love, and the world through His eyes and His beauty. And most importantly, trust in God my friends and remember that He is always there for you even when you feel completely alone and heart broken.




“I am not alone, for my father is with me.”/ / John 16:32

things i have learned & fallen in love with & i'm done with my first year of college

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

As I stated in the title, I am done with my first year of college (it will be exactly 3 weeks since, on Thursday) and I am beyond happy to be home. I miss the friends I have made and staying up until 3 a.m. with my roomie. I do not miss campus food or dorm life. Aside from all I miss and don't miss, this post actually has a real purpose. I have learned a lot and fallen in love with a lot this past year, so yes, that is what I am going to talk about. Let's start with what I've learned and go from there.

what I've learned:

1. nothing is better than a home cooked meal
I truly cherish all the times that my friends and I would gather in our tiny dorm kitchen and make meals. Whether it was something extravagant like a big pasta dinner or something smaller like breakfast sandwiches, it was always better than campus dining. If you eat at least one home cooked meal a month, you'll be happier and healthier (proven fact)!!

2. mental health should be put above everything else
As many of you know I had a battle with seasonal depression and anxiety this school year. I noticed that I was putting way too much on my plate and not giving myself enough alone time. I really didn't know how to take care of myself, because I always want to take care of everyone else. I became a Maven ambassador in the summer and hadn't used it for much, other than a few nutrition questions and cold remedies. I found myself needing someone to talk to, someone who wasn't just a friend. I began talking to a mental health provider on Maven (Elyssa Kilman, to be exact! She's fantastic, if you need to talk to someone) and saw a lot of improvement. I also began to make time for myself (as an introvert I need alone time to refuel) and began to gain a lot from it. If you aren't putting your mental health above your education, work, relationships, etc. then chances are they aren't going to be what you'd like them to be.

3. grocery stores are a rad hang out place
I'm pretty sure my friends and I would just go to Meijer for fun, hiding in the toilet paper and such. Or sometimes I'd drag them to Trader Joe's with me. In the end, grocery shopping is always fun and who doesn't love food? 

4. caffeine is a blessing sent directly from heaven
I have a serious caffeine addiction, like I get headaches if I don't drink a cup of coffee as soon as I wake up. But also, caffeine helps you stay up until 3 am to study for your exams, what a cool thing caffeine is! 

things I've fallen in love with:

1. God
I mean I was already in love with God, but I think I've fallen more in love with Him. College helped me realize so many things about myself and about my faith, it helped me grow so much stronger to God and made me lean on Him so much more. College is cool because you make your own decisions, such as whether or not you go to church or join a ministry group on campus (like Cru!!). 
College = growing in faith

2. painting
I am a writer, I write to relieve my stress. But writing was making me stressed this school year, so I couldn't use it as a release, so I began to paint. I painted a bunch of Bible verses with watercolor for fun and for stress relief. 

3. netflix and spotify
hahaha, I watched so much netflix this past school year. 
here is a little list of some of the shows I watched this year:
stranger things
jane the virgin
call the midwife
how to get away with murder
parks and rec (again, again, again)
svu
13 reasons why
supergirl

I watched more than just those, but I think you get the idea! And spotify premium is half off for students, which is a wonderful thing. 

4. new friends
I made a lot of new friends this year, a lot that will be life long friends. I am so blessed to have met these amazing people and to have gotten to know them. 


That being said, I hope you learned some things this past school year and that you also took time to fall in love with the little things. My prayer for you is that you continue to learn from God and all that he has to offer to you and that you do everything out of love.

Thank you for taking a break from the Cure To Singleness series (which will be back next week) with me! thanks for reading :) 

xoxo, Aubs

un(lovable)

Thursday, May 4, 2017



I began writing this post about how I’ve heard so many people call themselves unlovable, but then I realized that I probably couldn’t get my point across that way; I knew that people wouldn’t relate to my post that well, unless I talked about my own life.


Contrary to popular belief, I am not perfect. I have never been perfect and I never will be. I have called myself unlovable, I have thought about how no one could ever love me and how annoying it would be to be married to me. I mean I complain a lot, I pick the raisins out of my trail mix and the peas out of my fried rice, I’m sometimes a crazy driver, I’m an occasional backseat driver, and I have my own set of regrets and brokenness. But I know that I am still lovable, because of Jesus. We (that includes me) think of all the things we’ve done that we aren’t proud of and we can’t imagine anyone loving us if they knew of these things. I know we all tear ourselves down and come up with a reason for our singleness, we think it’s because of all the bad we’ve done; we think that we are unlovable. If one person in this world is unlovable, then we’re all unlovable. None of us live a life free of sin, I mean we can try, but we aren’t perfect. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of and we’ve all strayed from the path.


The more we say that we are unlovable, the more we begin to believe it; we are so far from the truth. Tell me, why do we continue to call ourselves unlovable, when Christ died for us, out of love? If you are so unlovable, why did Christ die so that you could be with Him in eternity? If I am so unlovable, why did Christ love me even before I loved Him?


you’re lovable to God
Now if we are to believe that Jesus is God, we are to believe that God came down in the most vulnerable form, out of love. He felt the same hurts and temptations of this world, out of love. He didn’t want heaven without us because of His love for us. He was nailed to a cross, out of love. He rose again three days later, out of love. He proclaimed that he would be back to take us all home because of His love for us.


Jesus loves you so much so that He died, for you. He washed away all sins, for you. He felt immense physical pain so that you could one day be with Him in heaven. He shows you grace every single day. He cheers you on, even when you won’t even let Him sit on the sidelines. You’re so lovable to Him, that it shouldn’t matter if people love you or not, but He will send people to love you anyways.


you’re lovable to someone
We’re not meant to do life alone and we know that, but sometimes we isolate ourselves because of our sin. We repent and we know we are forgiven, but our past sins still haunt us. We have let Jesus heal us, but we still live in the past. We know that Jesus loves us, but we don’t think anyone on earth ever could, “How could someone love me after I (fill in the blank)?” We’ve all said it or thought it. The truth is, God made someone to love you. That someone could be a spouse, but they could also be a friend. God didn’t promise that we’d all get married, but He did promise that we wouldn’t be alone. You’ll find that person who will love you for all of you. Even though you’ve sinned, you will still be loved. Even though you've sinned, you are still lovable.


you’re lovable
The bottom line is, that you are lovable and you are so loved. No matter what, God always has and always will love you. And because God loves you, He will send someone to show you love on earth. Just be preparing and praying for that person, whomever they might be! Your past does not define you, your future does not define you, you only find your worth in God! Stop living in your past sin and start living in love! YOU are so lovable, to God, to me and to someone else in your life.

I pray that you will know that you are loved by the Father and that you are lovable. I pray that you find that person that finds every single part of you lovable. I pray that you'd find healing, that you'd find joy in God's love. I pray that whatever you need from God, that He will provide you with it. I pray for you, friends.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. / / John 3:16

prayers for your future spouse

Thursday, April 20, 2017

If you need to recap you can do that here. (I've pretty much made this mini series a full blown series that is probably going to be the focus of my blog for a while.)


Praying is such an important part of our faith, it is a time for us to converse with our Almighty Father and talk to Him about everything and anything. He already knows what is on our hearts, but He wants us to come to Him and build a relationship. He so desperately wants us to pray for others, as well. If you haven’t noticed yet, this post is all about praying. It is specifically, about praying for your future spouse, because they need your love even before you know them. So get praying my friends!


Recently my friend, Maria, told me about a girl who was challenged to buy a tie to remind her to pray for her future husband every night. The story is a good one and reminds us all to continue to pray for our future spouses. God works in mysterious ways and this story highlights that. You can read more about this story here.


So Maria, Olivia and I were intrigued by this idea, so much so, that we decided to do it ourselves. We prayed that God would lead us to the exact tie that our husbands would receive from us on our wedding days, whether it be something funky or something more classic. We had such a fun time picking out a tie for our future men and praying for them. We went to several different department stores in the mall and looked at the ties, then we sat down at a couch in the middle of the mall and prayed. We prayed that God would lead us to the tie that would one day go to our future husbands. This was such an amazing experience, I was actually getting choked up thinking about it. Now we are writing letters to go along with our ties, which I will talk about a little bit later on in this series!





I don’t want to post pictures of our ties on here because I feel as if these ties are a very personal object, that we will one day share with our husbands and until then, they will remain private. Women, I encourage you to go out and buy a tie for your future husband. Men, I encourage you to go out and buy a bracelet for your future wife. I encourage you all to pray for your future spouse and pray for your own heart, that God will prepare you to one day be a husband or a wife. I hope that one day you and your spouse will be able to exchange “prayer-soaked” sentiments.

Below I have added a few prayers for your future spouse that I found on Pinterest. Don't be surprised by the power of prayer. You might pray for something great, but end up with something magnificent! Happy Praying!























"Therefore I tell you, everything you pray and ask for-believe that you have received it and it will be yours." / / Mark 11:24 CSB

a real Christian love story

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Recap Time!
Week one: We talked about finding God before you find that person that you will spend the rest of your life with.
Week two: We talked about good relationships and how all things good come from God.
Week three: We talked about God being the only one who can fix brokenness.
To catch up more into depth click here.


This week, I wanted to do something totally different and present you with a real love story; this is the story about how my wonderful parents met. I decided to interview my mom about their marriage because they are really my biggest example on what a romantic relationship for Christ followers should look like. I hope you enjoy learning about a true love story, just as much as I did. Now, I present to you: Bob and Rochelle!



Aubrey: Let’s start with something fun! How did you two meet?
Mom: We met at our mutual friend’s bonfire but never talked or saw each other after that until a year later when we met each other again at another mutual friends’ wedding.


Aubrey: How did you know that you two were meant for each other?
Mom: I was seeking something different then I had ever sought before; I was looking for someone who had things in common with me and I was looking for someone whose actions spoke louder than words. I prayed for someone like your dad and found him.


Aubrey: How has God shaped your relationship with each other?
Mom: With both of us having faith and the same beliefs it's just an unspoken understanding that what we believe is right and just, in the way that you should live your life and raise your family.


Aubrey: After being married, how has your expectations of love changed?
Mom: With your dad, the love I've felt with him in our lives is way beyond romance; it's a mature love and it's for every circumstance. We've been through a lot of hard times and they haven't made us weaker.


Aubrey: What do you think are the guidelines for a successful romantic relationship for Christians?
Mom: For Christians, putting God and His word first.


Aubrey: To you is there a difference between love and romance?
Mom: Yes, love is never-ending. Love is there when there is no romance.


Aubrey: What are your love languages?
Mom: Acts of service


Aubrey: Hypothetically, If I were getting married and asked what you thought was the most important thing you've learned about how to have a successful relationship, what would you say?
Mom: Get over things, don't make love a competition or keep score.


Aubrey: Any advice for someone who is actively seeking God and also looking for a significant other?
Mom: Look for someone who is also seeking God and pray!


Aubrey: One more thing, what is the biggest focus of your relationship?
Mom: God and loving each other and our family.


So see, there you have it. A wonderful example on what a romantic relationship looks like for Christians. I hope this was fun to read! These two are my inspiration, I want a relationship like theirs! Continue seeking God and He will send someone your way!


“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” / / Proverbs 18:22

they're not yours to fix

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

If you need to catch up on this series, click this link.


I have been asking God for a lot of help with this series because as many of you know, I am not at all an expert (or even a beginner) in the romantic relationships department. So there I am, watching one of Steven Furtick’s sermons and he says something about how you are not Joanna Gaines and this is not Fixer Upper and I just felt like God wanted me to talk about that somehow. So here I am now, contemplating how exactly God wants me to relate relationships to an HGTV show. I pray that my hands becomes God’s hands and write this to you from God, through me. Here we go.


we’re all broken
Raise your hand if you’re a broken person. You’re lying if you didn’t raise your hand, because the truth is we are all broken and sinful. We are all giant screw ups and mental illness ridden messes. We have all fallen, had our hearts broken, grieved, been addicted, hated someone, etc. We are super duper broken and super duper unfixable, that is, if another person tries to fix us.


you’re broken
You’ve been hurt before, you’ve felt defeat, you’ve lost your way, you’re still hurting and probably will be for a while. You try to find a man or a woman who will fix you. You search high and low for that person, but the one who will fix you is right beside you; God wants to fix you. God wants you to be made new again, He hates to see you suffering. Don’t ask God for a person to come along and make you better, ask for Him to make you better.


they’re broken
Imagine this: You meet someone who you genuinely like as a person, but they have ghosts in their life. This person has serious issues, issues you have never had to deal with, but you are so infatuated with them. This person likes that you care for them, but they can’t care for you in return because they’re way too broken. You can’t fix them. You can’t take all the shards of their heart and glue them together, you sure can try, but it won't work. “But Aubrey, they have potential! I can help them!” Yes you can help them; by being there for them, by leading them towards Our Healer, by being a prayer partner. But you cannot be in love with them, not now anyways.


God uses the broken
So yes, we’re all super broken and we can try and fix the other broken people. We cannot date those who have potential, those who need fixing. And we cannot seek someone who will fix us, because they can’t. We were not made to fix other people’s brokenness or even our own. We were made to surrender our brokenness to God and to ask Him to fix it, to use our brokenness for His glory. God is a Healer, such a mighty Healer! God is the only one who can repair a shattered heart and a shattered soul. Don’t date someone who is broken, lead them to God, pray for them, and see where God places you. Stop searching for someone to fix you, when God is the only one who can!


“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” / / Psalm 34:18 MSG